Monday, July 22, 2019

Manners and Your Toddler

If you have ever taken a tour of a Montessori elementary school, you were probably impressed by the behavior of the children as they quietly went about their different tasks. The secret is that the Montessori method puts more emphasis on communication and social interdependence, teaching children how to communicate in ways that are acceptable both in the classroom and in the community at large.

Leading by Example

Children depend on the cues they get from adults and older children to model their own behavior. In the Montessori elementary school we teach manners by exhibiting good manners, you are showing your child that social etiquette is crucial to open communication and personal interaction. Done correctly, you will even introduce the concept that events can go against our desires without triggering emotional displays such as anger or rebellion.

Grace and Courtesy

Grace and courtesy form the cornerstone of good manners in the Montessori school. They explain why the classroom tends to be quieter and more organized. These traits are maximized by teaching children the importance of social structures such as:

  •  Good Manners 
  • Caring for One Another 
  • Putting Others First 
  • Helping Solve Problems

Sharing Solutions

Learning the importance of sharing can be difficult for young children, but it is a necessary part of learning to conform to rules. To do this, children are taught to politely ask permission to join in, and how to process the responses-- whether they are inviting or not. Not every interaction will end the way we want it to end, but we are still tasked with accepting the results and moving forward with those results in mind.


At the core of manners in the Montessori classroom, responsibility is the ability to search for solutions acceptable by everyone involved without allowing emotional instincts to control the reaction. The Montessori Method focuses on the whole child and the whole classroom, building personal responsibility as a means of interaction where the interaction is at least as important as the conflict in need of resolution. Talking with your child’s teachers is a good way to teach manners in the home. By following the same ideas and teaching structure, you can provide continuity and consistency in the concepts being taught, providing your children with an unbroken reference of acceptable behavior in any given situation.