When children attend a Montessori private kindergarten, discipline is handled differently than in traditional school systems. Teachers do not criticize children in front of the class, for example, and Montessori utilizes intrinsic motivation instead of external or physical motivation. The thing is, this type of discipline only works when it is supported by the parents after the school day is done.
Present a United Front
It is very important that your Montessori kindergarten children see your relationship with the school as a team effort. Any time that you pit yourself against the teachers in defense of your children, you are showing them that they can use one side as leverage against the other. Communicate regularly and accept what the staff tells you even when it may not coincide with your child's side of the story. Remember that the school's purpose is the development and education of children and they have nothing to gain from plotting against your children, no matter how it seems to the child.
Consistency Counts
Be consistent between school and home. It benefits children to know that the consequences of actions will be the same whether they act out at school or at home. If a teacher observes a change in your child's behavior she will bring it to your attention and discuss ways to solve any issues that arise. Together, you can uncover the root causes of disruptions and address them rationally and without resorting to actions that use fear to coerce desired responses.
Avoid Punishments and Rewards
Montessori works best when children are intrinsically motivated-- when the child wants to behave or perform in appropriate ways because they know and understand that the behavior is the best way to act or react. Traditional punishment and reward systems depend on fear, pain, and threats to be effective, whereas an internally motivated child wants to perform correctly for the benefit of the act itself. The first tenet of the Montessori Method is that children should be treated with respect and hitting someone to address their behavior is never a respectful response.
Children look up to adults and have closer bonds with their parents than they will have with anyone else for many years. Because of that, what they see and hear from their parents will be a large part of how they learn to interact with others. For Montessori-style disciplinary strategies to be effective they must be shared by parents and school staff alike.